June 2014. It's the beginning of June, life keeps going on at a crazy fast pace (all Londoners will be familiar with it), more than ever, after dealing with malignant melanoma, I appreciate the small beautiful things that life constantly throws at us, I embrace everything with an open heart, I have newly found energy, determination and happiness inside me... until I land on one of the most stressful weeks in my personal living memory: a major leak from my bathroom floods my downstairs neighbours' bathroom and I discover a lump in my neck. When it rains it pours, as they say.
The leak from the bathroom proves to be the more easily solvable problem of the two. I am already dreading having to have the whole tile-work around the bath removed in order to determine the cause the leak. However, to my great relief, when the plumber inspects the bath he immediately realises what the issue is. The seal around the bathtub has come off in a few points leaving gaps between the bath and the walls and the water is going thorough those gaps when the shower is turned on. We try running water straight through the plug hole and no more water is going through downstairs. This proves that the plumber's diagnosis is correct, the plan of action is therefore pretty painless. Reseal the bathtub, let it dry. Problem solved. As a word of advice on bathroom leaks, based on my own as well as several friends’ experience, the vast majority of leaks (especially in older and conversion properties) are caused by water going through from around the bathtub. It appears that workmen in the UK often times leave too large a gap between the bath and the bathroom walls (for reasons to be determined), therefore always check that there are no obvious gaps in the seal and get the bathtub resealed when needed (or do it yourself as it’s pretty easy)!
Apologies for the digression. Now to problem number two: the lump in my neck. I am concerned from the beginning as this is exactly what the dermatologist and oncologist warned me to be watchful for. A swollen lymph node may indicate that the cancer has spread there. Of course a swollen node can also be caused by a simple infection (at the end of the day we now know that lymph nodes are there to fight infection and provide immunity). Coincidentally I am due for my quarterly visit with my dermatologist that very week. So I plan to ask him what he thinks about it. He is immediately concerned, which is not a good sign as historically he always got it right with me. He says it is a very suspicious node and it could be melanoma and he refers me to a surgeon for an excision biopsy as this is outside his remit as a dermatologist. He also says that of course there is a chance this may turn out to be nothing bad but we will not be reassured until we know for sure.
I leave the hospital and I am petrified. As usual though I am very 'matter of fact' in dealing with the issue. I am not too concerned with the long term implications of cancer spreading (again, I feel too young - still! - and too well and full of energy and life, to really accept that this disease may ultimately kill me) but the short term prospect of more uncertainties and more surgery daunts me.
I will see the surgeon for an initial consultation the following week, and I'll talk about this in the next entry of this Blog. Now I would like to spend a word on the subject of discovery new lumps in your body, which is a frightening moment for anyone and much more so for someone with a history of cancer. The basic advice, which really is a lot of common sense (but this sometimes disappears when we are under stress) is as follows:
- Go get it checked. Don't delay going to see a doctor, seeing a doctor will not turn into 'bad' something which is not. A doctor may be able to tell you straightaway that something is not of concern and you will get your peace of mind sooner. If something is of concern on the other hand, you will tackle any issues as soon as possible without wasting precious time.
- Do not spend hours googling stuff to self-diagnose. Google-self-diagnosis can be dangerous as it may delay your visit to the doctor. Of course I did do a lot of googling myself, but I was just doing that in parallel to seeing the doctors. The internet, including social networks (and of course Blogs!) can be an invaluable source of information and connection, however it should never replace or delay a visit to the doctor. Symptoms checks should be left to medical practitioners as they must be evaluated case by case, considering your specific circumstances and overall health among other things. As an example of useless and dangerous google-self-diagnose, one thing that you may read on swollen lymph nodes is that if the lump is tender and sore it is much more likely to be an infection of some sort. If it's hard and not sore it is more likely to be cancer. Well, my swollen lymph node was tender and sore and turned out to be cancer, so there we go.
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